Your web-browser is very outdated, and as such, this website may not display properly. Please consider upgrading to a modern, faster and more secure browser. Click here to do so.
MADE A LIST. Old advisor responded to my email with answers to the editor’s scary comments about sampling design that TOTALLY MAKE SENSE, I feel ok about it now. I hope we don’t have a pop quiz in silviculture tomorrow bc I literally haven’t done the readings since the book triggered me the first week of class???? lol but once classes are done tomorrow (at 11:20am) I WILL DO ANALYSIS. Then be rewarded with gay bowling & stiff alcohols in the evening. I can do this.
I am very glad I had therapy today because she told me that I should only try to do to the analysis for ONE species redone on my manuscript tonight instead of it all. That is such a manageable goal. Why can’t I set these goals for myself!?
the day is like already half-over and i’m exhausted & i don’t know how i’m supposed to accomplish anything. why is this happening. why can’t i get this done.
I’m eating breakfast at the union at school—it’s 8:00 AM and no one is around. It’s quiet and I have a coffee and a breakfast sandwich and my laptop. I feel as if my brain worked all night through my sleep, trying to articulate exactly how I feel about Wolf in White Van.
under a cut due to spoilers ~
I finished JD’s book lol I’m awesome but also the Worst at the same time, please whatever deity that exists make me do actual work tomorrow!!!
I hurt so much that I would trade anything for relief, do anything, hurt anyone. I remember the day I tried to make a deal with the devil: how stupid I felt, how I cried to know there was no Satan to help me, how there was only the medication they’d give me when I couldn’t pretend I didn’t need it anymore. Which I tried to do all the time; I hated how much I needed all the help they gave me, hated needing to call the nurse, hated feeling like my greatest success would be in making childhood my permanent condition.
— John Darnielle, Wolf in White Van, pg. 100
I’m almost halfway through this novel already but this stuck out for me in such a profound way I had to post it.
Page 1 of 546