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a large, fruit-eating bat.

Click the 'about me' above to find out more about me. I basically blog about my chronic illness, adventures in grad school, and the Mountain Goats. Feel free to ask me questions.

counter on tumblr
Sep 2 '14

advisor: i am going to germany next week and i need to get my internet repaired tomorrow so we are just going to have to catch up next week. i’m sure you have enough to keep yourself busy.

me: yeah hopefully whatever i get done will be adequate.

advisor: oh, i’m sure it will.

me: [silently cries]

Sep 1 '14

lolitsgabe:

lepetitdragon:

Me when I’m working and someone tries to talk to me

kingopossum

(Source: shoatgeep)

Sep 1 '14

i cleaned up my study nook today & am pretty proud of it.

[it’ll never be used tho, lol]

Aug 30 '14

the biggest reason why i hate that my abuser & his current gf read my tumblr is that i use this often as an outlet for my depression/chronic illness feels/general processing of my inability to be a Human, and they should only be able to see that i am a successful PhD student with an awesome supportive partner and two adorable cat children and lots of great friends and then they feel bad about how awful their lives are in comparison.

Aug 29 '14

bheidh replied to your post “first week of the semester was such a fail for me. I did nothing…”

<3 <3 <3 reminder that you made it all the way through first year & summer fieldwork. not trying to minimize struggles; i just know you are often doing better by others’ standards than you might feel.

i really appreciate these types of little reminders. i feel like an asshole that i have such ridiculously high standards for myself that not even a 100% non-disabled person could achieve, yet even though i recognize this i still FOR SOME REASON, hold myself to the standard.

anyway people reading this just know i never think poorly of people’s productivity levels or whatever this is all just me and the battle against internalized ableism & self-loathing.

2 notes Tags: bheidh
Aug 29 '14

first week of the semester was such a fail for me. I did nothing except take a lot of stress naps, make to-do lists that overwhelmed me, and set up my desk space in my office (but spent barely any time there). I am objectively the worst graduate student ever.

Aug 29 '14

bheidh replied to your post “oh my god, this town is too small, my shitty rheumatologist is sitting…”

my inpatient psych nurse ran into me at walmart, this sort of thing is v v uncool

i know doctors are people but at the same time they seem to treat me as a non-human so i feel like i can demand they not be out in the World where i might cross paths with them.

Aug 29 '14

oh my god, this town is too small, my shitty rheumatologist is sitting in this Starbucks rn

Aug 27 '14

megachiropteran:

welp i sent an email to my prof about that line in the textbook i’m officially that annoying feminist in the department i guess??

lol bad idea he responded to me and it was condescending and shitty and now i hate him

Aug 27 '14

welp i sent an email to my prof about that line in the textbook i’m officially that annoying feminist in the department i guess??